Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Carried Away: The Box

A gentle reader suggest that I have gotten "carried away" on the whole horse thing, and probably in a dozen other earlier posts.

Almost certainly right. Over the top, not funny, and all that.

But I have to admit it pleases me to develop the implications of surreal situations, particularly ones that involve anthropomorphizing animals or objects. I think about them when I drive, or run, and then just have to write them down.

For example:

Have you ever thought about what it must be like for the box? The box that plastic trash bags come in, I mean.

That box has contained those bags for months, possibly for years. All folded. Kept in the line, with sharp creases, in perfect order for being removed from their box by someone who wants to take the full bag out of the trash bin, and put in a new, clean, empty bag.

But, at some point, you get down to just a few bags left.

Does the box KNOW? Do the bags begin to taunt the box? They can't know which will be the last bag, because as there are fewer bags there is room to flop around, and the hand may pick this one, or that one....can't tell.

But at some point, there is the end of the caste system, the destruction of the only social order that the bags and the box have ever known. AT SOME POINT, THERE IS JUST ONE BAG LEFT!

And now, surely, the box knows its fate.

The trash bin is full. The guy (should be a guy) pulls the full bag out, ties it up, and places it on the floor to take it outside. Then, he pulls out the last trash bag, puts it in the trash bin, smooths it out.

AND THEN HE TOSSES THE BOX INTO THE BAG!

What is the conversation like? What does the bag say? "How does it feel, you fascist box? Kept us in line all that time, all folded and repressed. Never could stretch our wrinkles or get unfolded with you holding us back. HOW DOES IT FEEL?"

Before long, the box, once the keeper of social order, is covered with turkey guts, coffee grounds, eggshells. No social order, just anarchy, and a smelly one at that. But surrounding it all, the bag, newly elevated to the status of king, constrains and controls all.

The bag fills, and it is taken out to the outside bin, with all of its brothers and sisters. The box is forgotten, empty, useless. Simple refuse, where once it held sway over two dozen bags.

We should have some sort of ceremony, a recognition of the change in the social order. Like when Great Britain left Hong Kong, and there was a transfer of the flags. We should acknowledge that the box is no longer the boss, and the bag is no longer the subaltern.

(See? See what I mean? This is no doubt completely boring. But I find it WONDERFUL!)

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Or the box gets recycled and reborn to hold and keep order over another "civilization" of plastic bags...

Whereas poor Mr. plastic bag rots away in a land fill, wondering.... oh where oh where did my box go... oh where oh where could he be?

Mungowitz said...

Ah, now, SEE? This is someone with an apprecation for the absurd.

The bag THINKS it is going to lord it over the box.

But, when the box gets recycled (it's not corrugated, but it could happen), the bag's hopes are dashed.

And, yes, the bag is quite likely codependent by this time. And the bag wishes for the "good" old days.

If the bag is NOT biodegradeable, in fact, it is now in bag hell: living for ALL ETERNITY in some landfill, with the box, the hatred of which gave the bag meaning.

SOME of you people GET it! Well done.

Anonymous said...

I wasn't going to vote for you. But this post changes everything. You should integrate it into your stump speech.

Nutter.

Mungowitz said...

"Nutter"

Is that a signature, or are you calling me names?

Either way, I'm sure you are right.

I *am* a nutter, and if you are going to vote for me you are even worse.

Anonymous said...

I thought you might appreciate my take on your bag analogy. This is what us PhD students do up in Toronto to stay sane during marking ... that and checking the Public Choice website every day to see if a decision has been made on my manuscript... I always thought websites that allowed you to check the status of your manuscript in real time would be a blessing... :)

Mungowitz said...

Now, now: We at PC "decide" as soon as the referees report back.

And that takes forever.

Sorry about that....